FAQs
When is mediation appropriate?
I’m not sure mediation is right for my situation-can I back out at any time?
It's too complicated-shouldn’t I let the judge decide for me?
Why use professionals?
Does the mediator’s experience & expertise matter?
What does it cost?
How much time will mediation take?
Will mediation work when the other party is...stubborn/difficult/ controlling/
emotional?
How do I get the other party to mediate?
Where can we meet?
Should I consult a lawyer?
What is my lawyer's role?
What if my court case is pending?
When should I file in court?
Why mediate when I think the Court will rule in my favor?
What is mediation?
Mediation is a process in which a neutral facilitates
communication
between the parties and, without deciding the issues or
imposing
a solution on the parties, enables them to understand and
to reach
a mutually agreeable resolution to their dispute. (top)
When is mediation appropriate?
Mediation is appropriate for all types of cases at any
stage, unless
a court precedent is needed or there is a history of
violence:
Marital Separations (Divorce & custody) -
Equitable Distribution (Division of Assets &
Liabilities) -
Mediation allows the husband and wife to concentrate on
what’s
fair for the future by looking at assets, liabilities,
budgets and
future plans in a realistic manner.
Spousal Support (formerly called alimony)- Mediation
allows the
parties to look at the how you’ve been living and how you
can realistically expect to live in the future. It allows
unemployed
or underemployer spouses to explore what it would mean to
go back
to school, or to seek new job skills or other employment
without
is being used against you in court.
Custody (and visitation) - Mediation allows you and your
spouse
to put the children first; to explore lots of creative
options and
schedules.
Employment -
During mediation sessions, the employee and supervisor
explore the
conflict openly out of the presence of others, as equals.
The employee
saves his or her job or gets compensated the employer
keeps a good
but unhappy employee or avoids disruption at work and the
time and
expense of litigation.
Construction -
In mediation the parties can look at the problem in detail
now with
experts, if needed at all, offering informal low cost
opinions.
Damage gets repaired or paid for now rather than after a
year of
litigation. In court cases, a decision only involves money
which,
if the plaintiff wins, must be collected. This decision
comes after
a year or more of discovery depositions, interrogatories
and production
of documents. (top)
I’m not sure mediation is right
for
my situation-can I back out at any time?
Yes. The only commitment our mediators ask of you is that
you show
up one time to allow us to introduce you to what the
mediation process
can do for you. It’s an opportunity for you to (1) Ask
questions;
(2) Get a feel for the process - determine if it’s right
for
you; (3) See if the other party is open to the
opportunities mediation
offers both of you, (4) Get to know the mediator. You can
take a
break for a few minutes or days or just leave for good at
any time
during any session. (top)
It's too complicated-shouldn’t I
let the judge decide for me?
You can, but you might be giving up some of your best
options. Unless
your explore your options in mediation, you may never know
what
you missed. The same complexities regarding the law and
your finances
make putting the evidence before the judge very expensive.
The informality
and confidentiality of the mediation process allow for a
quick and
yet detailed review of finances and options. (top)
Why use professionals?
If you could have settled without help wouldn’t you have
already
done so? If things are to the point you need help, you
want to create
an atmosphere that maximizes your changes for a good
settlement.
We assure you of that atmosphere. An inexperienced
mediator or one
who doesn’t know all the laws or all the techniques of
negotiation
may make a mistake or miss an opportunity for settlement.
You could
end up with a bad agreement. You could end up litigating a
case
that should have settled. Why take chances? (top)
Does the mediator’s
experience
& expertise matter?
Keeping up with the law and negotiation theory is a full
time job.
Mediating your case shouldn’t be somebody’s off-hours
job or hobby. Would you intentionally pick an
inexperienced doctor
or lawyer even if he or she had the proper designations?
Would you
want a family doctor doing your brain surgery or a
criminal lawyer
handling your divorce? It pays to get the best if you want
the best
results. (top)
What does it cost?
Our professional attorney-mediators use their experience
& legal
knowledge to keep you focused on realistic solutions to
the problem.
If your lawyers negotiate for you, there’s no referee to
keep
them focused on the facts and realistic solutions. You as
parties
share the per hour cost between you as you see fit. You
pay as you
go, and can terminate the sessions at any time, for any
reason,
such as when you need more information, or just want to
stop and
have time to think about what’s been said or offered. In
almost
every case, mediation results in a settlement, with less
stress
and tension and at less time and expense than litigation. (top)
How much time will mediation
take?
The time it takes depends on the issues and the parties.
Usually
you can tell within a session or two (within two weeks of
you first
phone call to us) that an atmosphere for settlement
exists. Even
where the parties haven’t done any “homework,”
settlement usually occurs within 2 to 4 sessions. (top)
Will mediation work when the
other party
is...stubborn/difficult/controlling/emotional?
Believe it or not, our experience shows that mediation
will work
in such cases. Its our job as professional mediators to
know the
tools and techniques of negotiation and to have the
experience and
practical and legal knowledge to stay in control of the
mediation
process so that stubborn, difficult, controlling or
emotional parties
do not take advantage of the other party. (top)
How do I get the other party to
mediate?
Call us and we’ll help you introduce mediation to the
other
party. Once you make the other party aware of the problem
and that
you’d like to mediate, we’ll speak to them and assure
them of the advantages of coming to mediation. (top)
Where can we meet?
Our main office is located in historic downtown
Fredericksburg at
1119 Caroline Street (on the corner of Caroline and Lewis
Streets
across from the Central Rappahannock Regional Library).
We can also meet you in the offices of Potomac Counseling
at Liberty
Village, 17606 Main St., Dumfries, VA 22026. (top)
Should I consult a lawyer?
We are lawyer-mediators and can give you legal information
(tell
you about laws), but mediators aren’t allowed to give you
legal advice (tell you how the law applies to your
particular facts).
At some point during the mediation process it’s a good
idea
to have a lawyer (a) tell you how the law applies to your
particular
facts and (b) explain his or her opinion of your best case
and worst
case outcomes. Your meeting with a lawyer will be most
productive
after you and the other party have already attended
mediation to
(a) get a clear picture of the facts as each party sees
them and
(b) an understanding of what the issues are that each
party wants
to resolve. (top)
What is my lawyer's role?
The Lawyer’s Role: a Checklist
You should carefully consider what you want from a lawyer.
Although
you might prefer to have as little involvement in your
case as possible,
that would likely cause the cost to increase, since your
lawyer
will have to spend more time learning about your case (and
the other
side’s case) the hard way. Be clear with your lawyer about
your expectations and the cost. If you want to stay in
control or
at least be kept fully informed, the following might be
considered
as you choose a lawyer or as you assess the progress of
your case.
Will the lawyer:
1) Allow you to make case decisions, insofar as you are
comfortable
doing so.
2) Give you an overview of the process and the cost before
any lawsuit
is filed.
3) Help you make a realistic assessment of your case, as
soon as
possible after being hired, by helping you analyze the
facts to
arrive at your best case outcome and worst case outcome if
the case
were ever tried (to give you a settlement range and to
prepare you
for mediation).
4) Keep you informed promptly of what s/he expects to
happen, what
is happening, what should happen next and what it will
cost you.
5) Send you copies of all documents and all
correspondence.
6) Send you a detailed bill at least monthly.
7) Respect you.
8) Be honest with you. While respecting your views, will
the lawyer
give you a frank, honest opinion and advise you of the
risks and
costs. (If the lawyer believes that you are (a) wrong, (b)
presenting
an unrealistic case or (c) pushing for an unrealistic
settlement,
will s/he avoid placating you by agreeing with you instead
of telling
you the truth as s/he sees it.)
9) Subject to Role No.8, be your zealous advocate, even if
s/he
believes you are wrong.
10) Respect your desire to get the case settled fairly and
quickly,
if that is your wish.
11) Use all means to keep your costs low without
jeopardizing your
case, to include using a mediator to help you negotiate
directly
with the other party, or if you two cannot do that, will
s/he still
use a mediator to help both lawyers stay expeditiously
focused and
realistic in their negotiations.
12) Explain all the benefits of mediation to you,
especially the
things a mediator can do to help you settle your case,
that the
lawyer cannot do for you no matter how good a negotiator
s/he may
be, such as “caucusing.” (Click
here for reasons to caucus)
13) Be accessible should you need to call him/her to get
legal advice
during a mediation session or at least be available within
several
days after each mediation session.
14) Help you do a cost-benefit analysis. (top)
What if my court case is
pending?
You can still mediate even if you’re already in court.
Call
us and we’ll explain your options. (top)
Just because the other party filed suit, don’t assume that they won’t mediate. There are times when filing a suit first may be your only way to get the other party’s attention or to convince the other party to be reasonable. If you call us, we’ll talk to them about the advantages of mediation. (top)
Why mediate when I think the Court will rule in my favor?
Why incur the time and expense of litigation when mediation is less stressful as well as less costly in time and money. A mediation session can usually be scheduled within 72 hours. If you know what you expect from the judge, then that expected result can be your goal in mediation as well. If your goals aren’t reached in mediation, you can always proceed in court and you’ve hardly lost any time.
But even the most just cause doesn’t have it easy in the courtroom. Did you know that Virginia Supreme Court Justice Cochran called litigation “civilized warfare.” Such wars are stressful, time consuming and expensive. The Virginia Supreme Court has made it clear that if you want a decision, your attorney must spend the time and you must incur the expense to gather the evidence and present the case even if the case lasts longer than you were married and costs more than you’re fighting over. Here’s what that court said in the case of Hodges v. Hodges: “We are not unmindful of the frequent burden, difficulty, and expense involved in this process, but the responsibility of the trial court is not removed or lessened by these. The burden is always on the parties to present sufficient evidence to provide the basis on which a proper determination can be made....”
Once you’ve spent time as a party to a lawsuit, you start understanding the meaning of the gypsy curse: “May you have a lawsuit in which you know you’re right,” and why Abraham Lincoln said “Discourage litigation. Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can. Point out to them how the nominal winner is often a real loser -- in fees, expenses, and waste of time.”
To avoid needless legal fees, expenses, and waste of time call Virginia Mediation at The Mediation Center, Inc., 1119 Caroline St., Fredericksburg, VA 22401; telephone (540) 373-1848 and allow our attorney-mediators to help you settle your case.
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